Yesterday I got the amazing results that I’m now in complete remission and that my heart is absolutely fine. I was pretty confident that I would get the news I wanted, as I have been feeling more and more myself as the weeks go by. Having said that, these last few months have been the most difficult time for me. Being diagnosed to starting treatment happened very quickly, and I didn’t have much time to process everything. I saw my treatment as something to do and get through. I went into survival mode and didn’t think about anything else but surviving. The hardest time came about one month after chemo when I had the time to sit and think about what happened to me.
Battling cancer for me is 100% mental. Obviously, physically my body went through hell as I experienced all of the side effects that you can think of, but the human body is amazing and I found it can heal very quickly. Cancer can mess with you mentally. A lot of people experience ptsd, anxiety, depression, anger and frustration. For me, I have had some sleepless nights overthinking and not being able to drift off and this is normal when surviving something traumatic. I have found that you ask yourself questions…What now? What if…? The NHS are fantastic when organising support, and they offer a mindfulness course to help with processing thoughts. A Macmillan Nurse comes out to see you after treatment to ensure you’re well and discuss any further support that you may need. Overall, the care I have received has been outstanding from start to finish.
I have read from other survivors that you gain friends and lose friends when battling cancer. This is very true. Going through a life threatening situation shows you who really cares. I have been blessed with a family who would do anything for me during a difficult time. I have friends who have done so much for me and there are others who simply didn’t. I’m very grateful to have people around me that I can rely and depend on, and those are the people who I will continue to spend my time with in the future.
What now? Now that I’m in remission I can finally think about my plans for the future. I plan to have an amazing summer with my husband and family and spend time travelling around the country. I plan to get back to my life back and make the most out of each day ahead. I have been fortunate to have a disease that responded well to treatment and I cannot imagine how it must feel to be told that treatment isn’t working or that the cancer is terminal. I think about that every single day. I appreciate the fact that I have a second chance at life and feel extremely lucky that I can now call myself a cancer survivor.